The Port of Charleston is home to a Carnival Cruise ship. You depart from here to the Bahamas for 5 nights and you can do it for as little as $200/person. That is nuts! Which is why we did it. :) Unfortunately, so did my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend... Can you say awkward? Here are some do and don't ideas for your cruise...
See that happy guy? Yeah, that's Kent right after he went on stage the FIRST time for being the loudest, most obnoxious sounding person in the theatre. He wanted to be on the trivia show and his loudness was rewarded with a chance to go on stage. Turns out he knew almost no answers, but he was further rewarded with a medal. lol.
In response to the screaming-
The MC: "Did you know he could do that?" Me: "It happens more than you would think."
And I was right. A mere 30 minutes later the large theater was packed for the Welcome Aboard Show and we had one of the best seats. On the second floor, a whole booth to ourselves. I kept hoping that a couple our age would sit down (the booths hold like 6 people and everyone shares), but almost the entire place was packed yet we were still all alone. Maybe they had all heard Kent's screaming for the trivia show and it was a protective measure?
Finally! A girl about my same age walks up and asks if "they" can share our booth. YES! Please sit! *thinking yay this is awesome, someone our age* And as she scooted to the side to sit down, her significant other was left standing right in front and towering over me. Both of our eyes widened and I'm sure terror could be seen on my face. Why hello there dear asshole of an ex-boyfriend. omg.
We had only dated, pretty casually for about 3 months but he was just one of those guys who is so arrogant and was so rude that it makes your stomach turn to think you even wasted 3 days on him, let alone 3 months. (Yes, this is the nose surgery guy from my self love post!)
This wasn't our first time seeing each other since the break up. A few months prior I had hidden in my work kitchen from him. {We work(ed) in the same industry so I expected it would happen eventually.} He tracked me down and acted like we were BFFs. It was weird.
But back to the present situation- I held my breath for a moment trying to decide what to do, what to say, how to run away. We both stayed silent. It seemed like the best answer in that moment. I needed to get a message to Kent quickly to BE QUIET. Don't do anything embarrassing, let's just get past this show and find our side of the ship. It's a big enough ship, right?!? I whispered through my teeth to him, "don't do anything crazy."
Big mistake. I should have rented a billboard. This is Kent we're talking about! Kent is KNOWN for doing the crazy stuff, being the loudest, not staying nice and quiet!
About 10 minutes later I found myself sitting in that booth, just the 3 of us, watching Kent on stage. You see, they did a competition amongst the men- whoever does the loudest Tarzan yell loves their wife the most and gets to go on stage. My dear, sweet husband just had to give it his all much to my dismay. I mean, throw his shirt off, pound his chest, never-ending Tarzan yell at the top of his very LOUD lungs. Yep.
It didn't end there though. The MC instructed Kent and the audience that for the rest of the trip (this was hour one, day one btw) anytime someone said "Hey Kent" Kent would have to stop what he was doing, say "Yes, I am Kent and this is my lovely wife Alison of 3 years and I love her so much that I'm willing to do this...", jump up and down three times, spin around, do Michael Jackson crotch move, complete with "ow!" E.V.E.R.Y.T.I.M.E
Kent was again rewarded, but this time with a bottle of champagne, which was in turn given straight to me. Doctor's orders. My ex's gf leaned over to congratulate Kent and I. I said a sideways thank you and died a little inside. Poor girl probably has no idea why I was so cold to her, but my ex and I had entered into an unwritten contract to stay silent and I just wanted out of that booth!
We spent the next 30 minutes sitting awkward and quietly all in our booth together. When the show ended, they left pretty quickly, and I broke the news to Kent. Finally! His eyes got big, and voice got high, as he turned 3 shades of red darker... we were ready to start the week with our new "tanned" faces. :)
Verdict: DO if your Ex isn't sitting with you.
This was indeed a sweet, yet crazy thing for my husband to do and you shouldn't be afraid to let yours go crazy too if he feels so inclined. You do get champagne in the end. And you become this micro-celebrity for the rest of the cruise. I mean EVERYONE knew us and it re-played on the in-cruise channel every 15 minutes. People bought us drinks and greeted us everywhere for the rest of the cruise. And Kent got a lot of exercise, jumping up and down while in the pool, walking down the hallway, and being seated at dinner to name a few of the 100+ times.
At the first port I really wanted to just sit on the beach, but Kent was looking for adventure. We saw lots of people renting scooters and thought it might be fun. So wrong.
My helmet clip was broken, we had only one mirror, AND the scooter wouldn't turn off. After riding for the longest, scariest mile ever, we found this little spot and wanted to catch our breath (it was terrifying being on it!) and take some pictures. Long story short- took pictures (the only good thing out of it), took scooter back, demanded refund, people lied to us, called cops on us, cops said we were allowed to stand there, ex-bf again shows up riding his perfect scooter, karma obviously was taking a nap, hours later got our money back. Then we walked down to a fun restaurant and called it a day.
Verdict: NEVER EVER rent a scooter. When we got back I finally read the itinerary that the cruise ship hands out- HUGE warning about the scooters in it! Oops.
March your happy butt down to this beach which is so close to the port. I had no idea it was right there until we got back on the boat...
When we got back to the ship we decided to just relax. The other ships docked by us were doing their lifeboat testing and it was so funny! And kind of scary. These things just puttered around on a tiny engine and a couple of the guys had to help each other and hit one with a wrench when the engine stopped.
Verdict: DO so you know which lifeboat to sneak onto in case yours is the dud. lol.
{not real legal or life-saving advice, can't hold me accountable, yada yada yada...}
I have ice cream cone issues and apparently Kent is a pro.
Verdict: DO eat the ice cream and desserts. It's vacation. :) The chocolate thing with a side of ice cream at dinner is the most amazing thing you'll ever eat. Let the ice cream melt a little and then put it in the chocolate cake thing to cut the richness. yum.
The next port is Freeport. They were working on building a restaurant, but I'm not sure when that opens. We payed for a van to take us to a remote beach. It was so much fun! The drinks were actually priced pretty low, the chairs and umbrellas were also cheap to rent, and it wasn't very crowded. The water was pristine and there were other fun rentals for kids. It was the best day of the whole cruise. On the van ride back we sat in front of the cruise's other "micro-celebrity" who won the hairy chest contest the day before. He and Kent commiserated on their stint of fame and it was hilarious.
Verdict: DO!!! Seriously good time at that beach. Worth every penny!
So the girls next to us were laying out and chatting when two of their friends came up and dumped seaweed on their backs. It was kind of funny to watch.
Mostly I just thought about how much fun it would be to go with a group of girl friends!
Verdict: DO go with friends, but watch your back!
Overall it was a really nice vacation. Not even the sight of my horrible, ex can ruin a good time in the sun, swimming in clear water, and having fun with my husband. We also went to the comedy night (hilarious), the closing show, charades, the art gallery seminars, and the gambling course (you get a $5 matching card!) to name a few. We spent a lot of time relaxing (I was badly sunburnt after the scooter ride), took time to get ready for dinner each night, didn't rush anywhere, and enjoyed as much of the ship as we could!
One thing we definitely did differently than a lot of people- we went to the pool later in the day so we'd always get good seats, there are less people in the pool {You can actually get in it!}, and we still had plenty of time to relax and get ready for dinner because we chose to do the open seating. You can still sit with people, even without an assigned table. We made friends with people at our table a few of the nights and then spent a couple just enjoying dinner together. Most importantly- It's vacation! Don't pressure yourself into a set meal time, get crazy and go to a club at night, sleep in as late as you want, and just have fun. :)
Verdict: DO go on the Carnival Cruise out of Charleston!
